Just One Of Those Days

One of my neighbor's got locked out of the house by her boyfriend today. On purpose. She just stood there pounding and yelling (softly, if that's possible to understand), anger and exasperation tearing her voice.


And of course, there I was, in my backyard, diagonal from hers, sitting on my patio, "inconspicuously." Except for the fact that my dumb dog is howling.


Well, that makes her turn around, and there I am, just awkwardly placed in the whole picture. So what do I do?


Well, who knows what took hold of me, but I just stared down at my feet and closed my eyes, hoping that she'd go back to her pounding, and forget about me. She did go back to her pounding. Who knows what she thought of me.


After that, I tried my best to gather up my awkwardness and walk inside, leaving my neighbor and her life behind me.


And I couldn't help it.
It had me thinking for the rest of the day.
Mainly about a quote I heard once by Johnathan Wesley.


"Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.”


I pray that God allows me another opportunity to talk to my neighbor.
I regret not gathering up my awkwardness and walking the OTHER direction, towards my neighbor, instead of into my house.


I guess in many ways, awkwardness is just a hindrance that keeps us from doing the things we need to do.


Next time I'll be gathering up my courage instead, thank you.

Someone To Talk To

I need someone to talk to. I need to tell someone that I can't live a single moment without thinking about how it affects the rest of my life, my future.

Without wondering if someone else, somewhere, has ever gone through what I have, or thought what I'm thinking, or dreamt what I'm dreaming, or felt what I'm feeling. I just want someone to know that sometimes, I feel completely misunderstood. Like I've got so much to say, but can never get it out.

I need to tell someone that every moment I experience, every day that goes by, every person I encounter, affects my entire life. Every small thing I see makes me wonder how blind I can really be. And it hurts to realize how ignorant and inexperienced I am. At the same time, it's very eye opening, and life changing. It frequently reminds me what I've forgotten: why I'm living. And I so often get caught up in each moment that hurts, each pain that I feel, each burden I carry, that I forget that I'm not the only one living. I'm NOT the only one.

I need someone to talk to, so that I can explain, that though the lives in this world feel like fragments that are never complete, we all matter. The pain in this world causes me to find new meaning in my life each day. To search for things that I can do to be more than who I feel I am, but to be who I was made to be. Things that allow me to step outside myself.

I need to tell someone that I WANT to change the world, I just don't know where to start. And I can't do it by myself, but I am NOT alone. I am surrounded by LIFE. By lives that long for the same things I do.

I need someone to talk to so that I can tell someone that I can't go through something that changes my life and then just forget it. Experiences cause you to ponder your life and think about who you really are. Who are you?

Winter Photos From The Backyard

A New Blog Has Come

Never thought I'd get a blog,

but since I like to write,

I guess it's the thing for me!

I won't be able to write too much all the time, but I'll do what I can.

Feel free to leave a message.

I'm excited to start something new. :)

All my love,

Lydia