There Is No Fear In Love

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
1 John 4:16-18

Southie

Of ladybug magnets with broken wings. In a cozy kitchen where vitamins got lost behind the fridge every day.

Of fountains nestled between brownstones. Lazy frogs with wiry tongues and flies darting about with no hope.

Of a cat who ruled the ever-winding stairs. Stairs that went on forever, up to the heavens. My heavens.

Of a church, a pastor, and a father. School on Sundays, with Laura.
And reeling in paper fish on my line, while learning of better fishermen.

Of innumerable grandmothers and innumerable kisses.

Of Melba & Eddie. And green grapes always on a counter beyond my grasp.

Of push-up icecream pops that never reached our tongues, but only the apples of our cheeks.

Of polkadot swimsuits and blue plastic pools.

Of Betsey's fear of motorcycles.

Of being waited for, longed for, and loved.
Of his scratchy beard and her butterfly kisses. <3

Of the cracked light from the study door, just enough to see a forehead creased in thought. Or sometimes shoulders hunched over a guitar.

Of faces pressed against the pane, watching the K Street garbage man.

Of all the things I remember now,
That all took place in Southie.

Halfway

Tomorrow is my half-birthday. For some reason it's always been special. Exciting. God only knows why. It's really just like every other day. But at the same time, it's not. It glows and gleams a whole lot more than the other 364 days of the year (with the possible exception of my actual birthday). Usually, to celebrate properly, we buy a pie crust and fill it with a half-gallon of icecream, cut it straight down the middle, poke a candle in each hefty half and then Tim and I devour it. Tradition.

And most of the time, we just take it easy the whole day. Do something together. Hang out with just our family. Go a little crazy.

This year, there probably won't be any icecream pie. Our lives are crazy. And besides that, I only get to celebrate with half of my family. Though it is, however, the half that usually eats the other half of that pie with me.

I am thankful that God made me a twin. That he gave me a brother, and a really spectacular one at that. A brother who's been with me all year at college and now here with me this summer too. It's been a bumpy one. I keep taking for granted how much of a blessing it is that I have him so close.

And I have been immeasurably blessed with two marvelous parents who let us both stay here to work, letting Georgia steal us for the three and a half sacred months of what was supposed to be a summer spent with our family. It was a hard decision. I can't measure the heartache, the impatience, the frustration... the loneliness. But God knows. He knows it's still a hard decision. But he has made it clear it was the right one and he's been present along this whole bumpy and terrifying ride. He has been faithful.
And we're halfway there.

I'll Be Doing My Best