The Privilege Of Dirt

Okay, so if you're reading this now, you know something must be wrong with me. Maybe you saw the title and that's all it took. Maybe not. But you must be thinking, "how on earth can someone find something profound while playing in the dirt?"


My mind can be confusing. Even to me.
Deal.
But back on topic.

I thoroughly enjoyed playing in the dirt and rain today. I woke up, took one look outside, and decided I was going to have some fun. My immediate plans were to just dance in the rain for a few minutes, but that turned into, "Tim, come here, this is so much fun!" and it wasn't long before Tim, Sam, Steven, Michael and I were all running down the streets of Elgin, splashing and going crazy in the downpour. Mudsliding on the baseball diamond, nearly drowning in the flooded fields, kayaking on the boulevards, being laughed at by a short, funny man in a hoodie, and jumping in the pond with all our clothes, and even shoes on. I mean, that only gives you a glimpse of the fun we had.

But I was thinking later. We have fun, we enjoy getting dirty, because we KNOW we'll be able to get clean again. All we have to do is go home, take a shower, and wash our clothes.

You gotta realize how blessed you are. Don't even take the dirt for granted.

Little Miss... Impatient?

I kinda feel like it's time for something new. Some new experience, or I don't know, risk-taking. Haha. Although I'm realizing, the more I desire something new, the more I get sick of the things I'm already doing. Probably not a good thing. I need to finish the things I've started.
Of course, the fickle, somewhat impatient person that I am tells me it's fine to start something new while I'm busy with all the other things I'm involved in. It's like I overwhelm myself doing too many things.
Problem.

Finish something before you go and start something new.
Solution.

I'm just talking to myself...

Opportunities

It seems like the contents of my day went by pretty quickly. Work, homework, and then off to the orientation. So when I finally got home, it was pretty much the first chance I had gotten all day to sit down and just think.

And I guess I was kind of expecting my thoughts to be something along the lines of, "Ouch, my feet hurt (which would come as no surprise)," or "Oh my gosh, I can't believe school starts on Monday." But no.

Thoughts start filling my head, somewhat upsettingly of, but more so bringing to light, an important detail: how selfish and stubborn I can be. And sometimes how resolute I can be against change, which is kind of ironic to me, because I desire to see a change in myself. I desire to see a change in the world. I desire to change the world. But day after day, time and time again, I wake up, and go about my day, me-focused, and obstinate.

Fail.

So, last night, thoughts tumbling, I just sat thinking.
Thinking about HOW, how on earth, could I change it so that I can wake up each morning, EVERY day, and think about who I am, or rather, who I am becoming, and SHOULD be, in God's eyes? And I constantly ask Him to fill me with his Spirit, so that I can wake up each day, and be who he's made me to be.

Now: that rude awakening.

I think everyone comes to a point where they think they've failed, and are positive that they can't go back and fix it. I guess I'm a person who believes, it's never too late to try. It's never too late to apologize. It's never too late to go back and finish something you've started. And it's never too late to try to succeed in something you failed in. Make wrongs right, et cetera.

But as I live each moment, I do think about all the things I can do to avoid looking back, regretting something I've done.

I look at it this way: if I have the opportunity to fail, it also means I have the opportunity to succeed. And there's a choice involved.

You can choose to live like no one else exists, and like you're the only one who's important. That'll be a scary wake-up call when you stop dreaming. Or you can live every day for God, choosing to help, encourage, and commune with his people.

Just DON'T live in the middle. Don't mix it all together. Don't be lukewarm.

I hope I haven't lost you too much. I tend to just write, and write, and write, and write, and write....

I guess, if I have a main point here, it would be this:

Each day, you are given dozens and dozens of opportunites to be bold and reach out. Chances to talk to people you may have never met in your life, chances to help people, chances to share, chances to encourage. Just remember, these are opportunities. What have you got to lose?

Okay. Forgive me. That was really really long.
I'm sorry. I think a lot. And this is just one of the few times I decide to write it down. Although, these things never end up the way I planned to write them in the beginning...

Oh well.
Thanks for reading.

Lyds

Numbers 6:24-26

Tomorrow

Things were kind of a jumble today. As of this moment, it's just a bunch of thoughts going, so I'll just throw some stuff out there.
I kind just bounced from one thing to the other today.
I actually enjoyed "sleeping in" since I didn't have to be at work until ten, and homework wasn't pending. I think today's the first day in ages I've actually woken up with a full eight hours of sleep. Amen to that because I needed for the rest of the day.

Side note: it's so much easier to think about all the things that happened today than trying to write it all down. Thoughts flow a lot easier than sentences ...aye.

And actually, second side note: on a split second decision, I think I'm going to get off, do something more constructive, then go to sleep. I'll write about my day today, tomorrow.

Peace and good night.
Liddy

Good day.

Today might've been somewhat of a normal day. But hey, who am I to judge, and what is normal anyway?

It was my third day on the job, so things were a little easier than the last few days. I think I'm finally getting the hang of the cash register, and even making lattes. Haha.
It was raining most of the day, but since we had more customers, I was busy, and hardly noticed. I kept myself occupied making paninis and caffeinating myself. I have to admit, I'm starting to have a slight addiction to the mochas.
Overall, the day went by pretty quickly, and I got to meet some of the regulars, and make the Code Blue panini recipe. Haha. It's secret. Shhh...

I think I get too excited about all the wonderful things that happen in a day, but twenty-four hours is so short!

I should be done blogging now. I have to go make dinner. But thank you to anyone who tipped me today! I didn't realize how generous people can be. Obviously a very pleasant surprise. :]

Good day to you all.
Time to go get some more mocha... ;)

--Liddy

You Make Me A Butterfly

This moment.
I feel like a butterfly.
I'm finally waking up.
I'm breaking out.
I'm seeing the world.
And I think I'm almost ready to fly.

I'm still learning, and I always will be.
Will You watch over me?
These wings alone cannot carry me.
Hold me up and don't let me go.
I trust You.
Because I know You will fly with me.

I have the urge to take off.
I can already see myself soaring.
But tell me if that's a dream.
Tell me when I'm getting too ahead of myself.
Because I'm still looking for direction.
And I don't know which way I'm supposed to go.

You're the only one who can show me the right way.
You've flown this way before.
You know the burdens I will have on this back.
You do.
Because You've carried them before.

Sometimes I still feel like a worm.
My heart is still ugly.
And I don't always live like I've been born again.

Sometimes I still think like a worm,
and try to do things the way I used to.

And I fail.
I do.
Because I realize I'm living backwards.
I'm messing up and rewinding when I should be moving forward.

My spirit is strong.
My desire is unwaivering.
My mind and heart are filled with hope and with love.
And my very being, overflowing with passion and determination!

But oh, my wings are not ready.
All I need is one push.

I need someone to hold me.
And guide me.
And protect me.

And now I know...
All I really need, is

You.

Because You are beautiful.
You.

Make my heart beautiful.
Then, I can fly.

When You are with me, I can soar.
And I will have no fear.
Because I cannot fall from your arms.

You give me wings and help me fly.
You overwhelm me.
I am Yours.

And though I will always still have a little worm in me.
You make me a butterfly.