Le Bon Berger

“Lord You know I’m such a stupid sheep. 

I worry about all sorts of things;

whether I’ll find grazing land, 

still cool water, a fold at night in which I can feel safe. 

I don’t.
I only find troubles, want, loss. 

I turn aside from you to plan my rebel way.

I go astray. 

I follow other shepherds, even other stupid sheep. 

Then when I end up on some dark mountain, 

cliffs before, wild animals behind, 

I start to bleat: 

Shepherd, Shepherd, 

find me, save me, or I die. 

And You do.”  

—Joseph Bayly

Jésus dit: "Je suis le bon berger. Le bon berger donne sa vie, pour ses brebis."

—Jean 10:11

A Very Tiresome Level of Worry

It is fearlessness that I desire most.

In the situations that make my heart ache, that make my mind dizzy, and make my stomach churn with worry.
A very tiresome level of worry. And complete weariness. Moments when my mind is consumed with nothing except the terrifying thought that I might lose control. That I might fail. That I will lose something.


Like a friend I hold dear.

I am so scared of failing, so scared of losing control sometimes, that I lose sight of God. I lose sight of the only one I can wholly rely on, for He is wholly in control.

I forget not only his sovereignty, but his faithfulness and goodness. His ability to transform ashes into something beautiful. To purify and renew that which has been stained and distorted. Even filthy sinners. And I constantly forget that all he asks me to do is simply trust him. To lay my worries--the things that plague my mind, body, and soul--at His feet. To believe that the people that I hold dear are indeed very dear to him too. And that He loves us.

My heart is ridden with worry, and aching, and fear. But unless I fully trust God, unless I lay my heart before him and put my worries in his hands, I will never know fearlessness.The fearlessness I seek is only gained by fully trusting my Savior and believing he can do what I deem impossible. As I have been reminded time and time again, nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37).

Psalm Eighty Six

Hear me, LORD, and answer me, for I am poor and needy. Guard my life, for I am faithful to you; save your servant who trusts in you.

You are my God; have mercy on me, Lord, for I call to you all day long. Bring joy to your servant, Lord, for I put my trust in you.You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you.

Hear my prayer, LORD; listen to my cry for mercy.

When I am in distress, I call to you, because you answer me. Among the gods there is none like you, Lord; no deeds can compare with yours. All the nations you have made will come and worship before you, Lord; they will bring glory to your name. For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God.

Teach me your way, LORD, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever. For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths, from the realm of the dead.

Arrogant foes are attacking me, O God; ruthless people are trying to kill me—they have no regard for you.
But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. Turn to me and have mercy on me; show your strength in behalf of your servant; save me, because I serve you just as my mother did.

Give me a sign of your goodness, that my enemies may see it and be put to shame, for you, LORD, have helped me and comforted me.

Enough

This is why I love my mom.

I've struggled often lately to keep from worrying about you two - your uncertainties or your struggles with faith and obedience. Today, at work I was distracted again, and I called out to God for grace. God is so faithful! He brought to mind a poem I learned years ago. I searched for it and attached it here. Previously I only knew of the last two stanzas.

Enough
by Frances Ridley Havergal

I AM so weak, dear Lord, I cannot stand
One moment without Thee!
But oh! the tenderness of Thine enfolding,
And oh! the faithfulness of Thine upholding,
And oh! the strength of Thy right hand!

That strength is enough for me!

I am so needy, Lord, and yet I know
All fulness dwells in Thee;
And hour by hour that never-failing treasure
Supplies and fills, in overflowing measure,
My least, my greatest need; and so,

Thy grace is enough for me!

It is so sweet to trust Thy word alone:
I do not ask to see
The unveiling of Thy purpose, or the shining
Of future light on mysteries untwining:
Thy promise-roll is all my own,

Thy word is enough for me!

The human heart asks love; but now I know
That my heart hath from Thee
All real, and full, and marvellous affection,
So near, so human; yet divine perfection
Thrills gloriously the mighty glow!
Thy love is enough for me!

There were strange soul-depths, restless, vast, and broad,
Unfathomed as the sea;
An infinite craving for some infinite stilling;
But now Thy perfect love is perfect filling!
Lord Jesus Christ, my Lord, my God,
Thou, Thou art enough for me!

I have so much longing for you to live constantly in the knowledge that God's perfect love fills our deepest cravings with stillness! Anything else we seek to fill us is an idol that traps us, robs us, destroys us. It is all "lesser things."

God's encouragement to me today is my encouragement to you tonight.

His strength is enough!
His grace is enough!
His Word is enough!
His love is enough!
He is enough!

Let's all be done with lesser things!

Love you!
Mom

Brown Penny

I whispered, 'I am too young,'
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.'
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.

O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.

--W.B. Yeats