You Don't Know Me At All

Hi, my name is: Lydia
Never in my life have I been: Out of the country.
The one person who can drive me nuts is: My brother. And I love it.
High school: Was one of the hardest songs I've ever played in life. I was under the impression that dissonance couldn't make a melody. But instead, dissonance saved the melody.
When I’m nervous: I tend to bite my nails.
The last song I listened to was: "World Spins Madly On" by The Weepies
If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honor: Rachael.
My hair is: Cooperating. Yes!
When I was 5: I met my best friend.
Last Christmas: I was home. At least at one of them.
I should be: More loving.
By this time next year: I would like to have a plan. Or be content with not having one at all.
I have a hard time understanding: My ever-fickle mind.
You know I like you when: I tell you my sad secrets.
If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: Chloe Payne. :)
Take my advice: God will always be enough.
The thing I want to buy: Certainty.
If you visited the place I was born: You'd fall in love.
I plan to visit: The west coast and fall in love.
If you spent the night at my house: I would take care of you.
I’d stop my wedding if: I felt like I was making a mistake.
The world could do without: Foolishness.
I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: Suffer heartbreak.
Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: Bubbles.
Most recent thing someone else bought me: Dinner.
My favorite blonde is: Chelsea.
My favorite brunette is: Mom.
My favorite black hair is: A secret. :)
My middle name is: Karstin.
In the morning I: Struggle to be ready.
Last night I was: Quite undeniably sick.
There’s this guy I know who: Has made me forget what life was like without him.
A better name for me would be: Hard to pinpoint.
Tomorrow I am: Going to be better.
Tonight I am: Going to be thankful.
My birthday is: A day that I feel like I don't deserve sometimes.

Swallows At Our Window

Rousseau had no recollection of learning to read, but he remembered how when he was five or six his father encouraged his love of reading:

"Every night, after supper, we read some part of a small collection of romances [i.e., adventure stories], which had been my mother's. My father's design was only to improve me in reading, and he thought these entertaining works were calculated to give me a fondness for it; but we soon found ourselves so interested in the adventures they contained, that we alternately read whole nights together and could not bear to give over until at the conclusion of a volume. Sometimes, in the morning, on hearing the swallows at our window, my father, quite ashamed of this weakness, would cry, "Come, come, let us go to bed; I am more a child than thou art."

A Heart That Trusts Wholeheartedly

The afternoon is perhaps the best part of a day. For more reasons than I can even address. Especially if you know well the afternoon sun. A contented sun. A sun well-spent by the day.

Something about today changed everything. To the degree that I have realized, I CANNOT BE THE SAME I WAS AN HOUR AGO. I WILL NOT BE.

A mere half-hour of sitting and being still, and just listening, and one positive presentation changed my thoughts about everything.

Somehow in listening, in observing someone else, everything in my own life started to make sense.

I felt like I was finally progressing-- moving one solid direction.
And all in one overwhelming moment, I felt like everything was going to be okay. Like I knew who I wanted to be. And EVERYTHING made sense.
Comfort isn't even the pertinent word. Or excitement. It was close to pure DELIGHT. I was perfectly and utterly speechless. Very contentedly so I might add.

Suddenly, blogging is easy again. Poetry is easy again (yet still thoughtfully challenging). Life is easier. It flows again.

He has revealed to me--unraveled-- a small part of his precious plan for my life. And has made my path clear.

Life has become
Two eyes looking
At the horizon again.
Two ears listening
For the melody that trials bring.
And a heart that trusts wholeheartedly.

Where You Are Within Yourself

“I think there can be a downside to anything you choose in life, depending on where you are within yourself, whether you’re happy and that’s what I’ve learned over the last while. This can be really hard, you know some things can go really right and some things can go really wrong and it’s when the things that go wrong, it’s how you deal with those”. --Damien Rice