Merry Go Round

So I guess I'm stuck.
I'm stuck on this merry-go-round. It's fun to be on, but I'm really just sitting there watching the world go by. Going through the routine, and hoping that some new adventure will start, or something different will happen this time, or even that I'll just...magically become a different person.
I think the person I hope to be is someone far away from the person I try to be. I'm trying and trying, looking at my goals, but then doing nothing to achieve them. It's like banging my head against a wall.

Routine is comfortable. Maybe that's the problem. I get so used to it that I don't want to change. I want something else to happen but I don't want to be the one to make it happen.

I'm stuck on that merry-go-round a heck of a lot more that I should be. It's time to get off and do something. I'm sick of watching everyone else go by. It's my turn.

Silent Night

We closed early tonight at work. The roads were slick, and the snow was coming down like rain, dancing in layers onto the trees, cars, and everything else in my little part of the earth. It's crazy how often I don't notice the beauty in those little flakes. But on this wintry night, since I was waiting for my ride home, I had an extra five minutes. I was left alone in a space filled with the most magical feeling of warmth and hope. And for this five minutes, I experienced the most peace I've felt in a long while. Despite the faint hum of a train whistle, and the occasional car sludging by, everything was completely quiet and I began to sing. On my silent night, there was one bright, clear, shining star that reminded me of a night a long time ago. On my silent night, I sang of a , our Savior, who was born in a bed of straw, on a night very similar to mine. On this silent night, my heart was quieted and satisfied as I remembered the gift I had been given, long before I even came into existence, and the gift that I can now give back at Christmas, and throughout the entire year.

Don't Close Your Eyes

iTunes was up today. Well, it generally always is, haha. But somehow Genius decided that Switchfoot's song "This Is Your Life" belonged on my playlist. I haven't heard it in a while, and I forgot how much I love the melody, not to mention the words.

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead.
Yesterday is a promise that you've broken.
Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes.
This is your life and today is all you've got now.
Yeah, and today is all you'll ever have.
Don't close your eyes.
Don't close your eyes.

This is your life. Are you who you want to be?This is your life. Are you who you want to be? This is your life. Is it everything you dreamed that it would be
when the world was younger and you had everything to lose?

Yesterday is a kid in the corner.
Yesterday is and over.
This is your life. Are you who you want to be?This is your life. Are you who you want to be? This is your life. Is it everything you dreamed that it would be
when the world was younger and you had everything to lose?

Don't close your eyes.Don't close your eyes.Don't close your eyes.Don't close your eyes.
This is your life. Are you who you want to be
This is your life. Are you who you want to be
This is your life. Are you who you want to be?This is your life. Are you who you want to be? This is your life. Is it everything you dreamed that it would be,
when the world was younger and you had everything to lose?

And you had everything to lose.

I started thinking about something my friend Andrew shared with me a couple years ago before he graduated:
This is your life. But are you who God wants you to be?

And I've just been chewing on that all morning....

He Has Done Great Things For Me

And Mary said:

"My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant.

From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me—holy is his name.

His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation.

He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.

He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble.

He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty.

He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful to Abraham and his descendants forever, even as he said to our fathers."

The Book of Luke, Chapter One, Verses Forty-Six Through Fifty Five

Oh, How The Years Go By

Today, on the first day of December, I woke up to a fluffy white layer of snow, blanketing every tree and house on our street. What a beautiful way to start the winter season. I'm not being sarcastic. Even if our Chicago winters last a good five months, it's hard not to get excited. No matter how cold it gets, it's snow--endless fun.

But it seems, it's only been a couple of months since last year's first snowfall.

This year has gone by faster than any other year so far in my life. There's one inevitable thing about becoming older that is somewhat depressing--the years always go by lightning fast. No matter how many things I do in a day or how many experiences I go through, time always goes by much faster than I expect.
When I was younger, I was much more ignorant and oblivious to the things that went on around me and even the concept of time itself. The world revolved around me. That was it. But now, as I'm growing older, time is constantly becoming sacred. When I come to the overwhelming realization that 24 hours a day hardly ever seems like enough, I learn to treasure them and think more often about the way I spend them.


“Time is free, but it's priceless.
You can't own it, but you can use it.
You can't keep it, but you can spend it.
Once you've lost it, you can never get it back.”
--Harvey McKay