The Worrisome Heart

^"This is what the LORD says:
'Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who depends on flesh for his strength
and whose heart turns away from the LORD.
He will be like a bush in the wastelands;
he will not see prosperity when it comes.
He will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.
"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."
The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?
"I the LORD search the heart
and examine the mind,
to reward a man according to his conduct,
according to what his deeds deserve."

Jeremiah 17:5-10

My eyelids flittered open this morning and my worrisome heart began pounding again. I can feel the ache--it is tired of being anxious. I have come to a place, a place that is necessary for us all to be at some point. A point of being humbled, and realizing that I am not the only person that matters. That being selfish and always wanting more is not going to gain me anything. I feel small, and often times insignificant when I think about all the things I haven't yet accomplished, or all the ways I fall short of the world's expectations.

And I am so tearfully overwhelmed when I say that God is working through these weaknesses. I cry out in agreement and relief when I read Paul's words to the church in Corinth: "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

And with a wisdom that only comes from my Father, I have found what seems to be the root of my problem. Worry is not healthy, and it is not right. It yanks my heart away from clinging to God and slowly causes it to fray. I start depending on myself and ignore the fact that my God is sovereign.

"Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD.

But oh, that I were one who trusts wholeheartedly in the Lord and holds to His promises!

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him."

The Lord is good. He is faithful. And I can feel him working in my heart. I can feel myself surrendering and giving everything I have to him. It's just taking time to lay things down and trust that he will provide all that I need. I am coming to that place of peace, where I can be still and trust God without having worrisome thoughts that cloud my mind. I am a work in progress.

"He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."

I long to be that tree--one doesn't fear when trouble comes, but trusts in the Lord to be faithful.

"Then I said, 'I will appeal to this,
to the years of the right hand of the Most High.'

I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
yes, I will remember your wonders of old.

I will ponder all your work,
and meditate on your mighty deeds.

Your way, O God, is holy.
What god is great like our God?

You are the God who works wonders;
you have made known your might among the peoples."

Psalm 77:10-14

My worrisome heart has found comfort.