No one likes admitting when they're wrong. I hate it.
I hate feeling like I'm less of a person. I hate the awkwardness of hearing someone pinpoint my weaknesses, my errors, and all the things I need to improve. I hate trying to accept that.
But hard as I try to deny the things that I constantly forget to do and say, and the things that my spirit lacks, what I really need to do is recognize my failures and admit them.
So here I am. I'm ready.
And I need someone to hear me say this.
I can only think of a fraction of all the nodding heads that will agree--I am awful. I am pathetic. I am unbelievably self-centered. I am a woman who very often lacks whole-hearted compassion and seldom gives with everything that is in my being. I bask in pride and so easily tune out the cries of the people around me. I feel I have forsaken the ones I love the most. I am so lowly. I am nothing.
It is my deep sorrow that I should come to this point--to plead for the forgiveness of those who I have, and often continue to hurt, sometimes unknowingly, and sometimes very consciously. To those whom I have brought pain upon: though I know I constantly fall short, I seek nothing more than your love, forgiveness, and mercy. I am so sorry for who I have been. I pray that God would grant me his grace and shower me in his wisdom love, that I can be a woman of God who serves Him, and his children, with my whole heart, and who takes not one glance at myself, but longs to stand in His presence and glorify who he is all of my days.
I am on my knees. God take all of me. Transform me.
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God is faithful and just to forgive you; it is helpful to balance healthy introspection with the realization that Christ took on every sin from the past, present and future when He died for you on the cross. The more we can recognize how repulsive our sins are to Him, the value of His ultimate sacrifice for us grows.
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