Missing

Leaving is not the hardest part. Neither is getting used to a new environment. Making the world around me a familiar place is not hard. Nurturing new friendships is, challenging yes, but not necessarily hard. Learning how to grow in my faith and being challenged to live consciously as a Christian and reflect Christ through my actions daily--that is difficult.

But perhaps for me, the hardest thing in the process of transition is missing what I used to know. Everything that I held dear, and yet took for granted because it was normal. Because it was routine. Because it was just life. It's so hard to understand what it is that causes us to lessen the meaning of the things most dear to us. To be numb and unable to realize the true value that things have until we lose them. Or, in this case, are truly separated from them for a time.

I was so ready to leave home. I don't know many teenagers who aren't ready to be on their own. And I know the passion to be independent is so strong when we're young. I know that passion--to prove to the world who we are, and the potential we have. But if I can say anything in hopes of making an impact on my generation, especially those right behind me--don't live in the mindset that you're already gone. Take time to enjoy everything around you. Don't take for granted the advice you receive, no matter how much you want to tune it out. Don't take lightly the friendships you have--the effort you put into maintaining friendships says volumes of your commitment to anything. Don't believe that the only true friends you'll ever have are the ones that you meet when you're on your own. The way you look at friendships now is the way you'll see them when you're on your own as well.

College won't make you a completely different person. You will grow. You will be challenged. But you will still be you.

One semester cools you down quite a bit. Wisdom kicks in and you finally realize the reality of your responsibility, and time, and finally what true independence is. Yes, it's humbling. It's frustrating when that time comes, and you realize everything you've wasted, and the meaning that every piece of advice you were ever given holds. Everything becomes crystal clear. As hard as it is to get to that place of realization, it is also where we take hold of our responsibilities and our maturity grows.

It is important to remember that things won't change magically without making a hard effort. If you sit back and relax, things in the future will be exactly as they are now. If you want to see changes in yourself, and accomplish certain things, that starts now. You are who you are becoming.

In missing the things I used to know, I am learning how to cherish and take advantage of all the wisdom and advice that I am being offered at college. This is more than just teachers and classes. This is more than just bible studies and weekly prayer meetings. This is being confronted with hard things. This is being challenged to live in a manner worthy of Christ. This is learning how to pray, how to listen, how to encourage, how to speak, how to walk, how to be still, and ultimately how to love. This is a time that will transform who you are for the rest of your life.

I know that I will miss it when it has come and gone. But instead of having to come to the realization that I missed out on things and took for granted the opportunities I had to learn, I want to look back and treasure the things I have taken away from college. To see all the ways I've grown and all the things I've learned, and to smile at who I have become, but more importantly, all the ways God is working in my life, and who he still working in.

I don't want to miss out on who I'm becoming.