Struck

Okay, I'll make this real quick, since I have to finish packing for summer camp today.
Yesterday evening, I decided to take a walk with Annie. I had already walked out the door, and realized that I had forgotten my cell-phone. I normally call friends when I'm walking my dog, just to take a break from my own life, and see what's going on in someone else's. But today, I guess, God didn't want me to take my cell-phone. Either that or I was too lazy to go back in the house and get it. I'm thinking it was more the former reason.
Anyhow, I stopped for a minute and said a quick prayer. I really needed time to be still, and let God flow over me. Boy, did he ever.

I didn't really feel it until I kept on walking. Instead of going the normal route, down the quiet, undisturbed end of our neighborhood, I went the other way. Ironically, our whole neighborhood (including the usually noisy, angry end) was rather peaceful. As I turned the corner, I noticed my hispanic neighbors playing in their yard. The dad kept on picking up his daughter, spinning her around with him and then landing her gently back onto the seat of her bicycle. I was approaching them, and to be honest, was feeling a little embarrassed walking right through their lives, just watching what they were doing. But as I neared the dad, I made the split-second decision to smile. Just smile.
And what came next surprised me. I don't know why it did either.
But the dad just smiled back. I don't mean a side, put-on-a-happy-face, smile. It was real, happy, and extremely genuine smile. It was meaningful in a way that proved me wrong. Proved to me, that not everyone hides and puts on a smile to make sure the world thinks they're happy.
For some reason, it just shattered everything I had previously expected from this person, and gave me a whole new perspective.

Makes me think about how truly narrow minded I can be. How I just EXPECT my world to always be against me, then I'm totally surprised when I find out that it's not always so horrible as it seems. And that other people are going through things too. That I'm not the only one.
Sometimes the world can be downright awful, and really push my optimism down the drain.
But I'm not one to leave it there. I can be incredibly pessimistic sometimes, but not a day goes by that I don't look into the future with hope, with confidence, and with determination.

To bring out the good in the world, and make known who makes it so good. Who made everything.

So, I kept walking. Now, I had already become washed over with a new perspective on life. Not in my own life, but actually someone else's (without talking on a cell-phone).
As I got about half-way around the block, the breeze starting blowing through my hair. It was one of those seriously PERFECT breezes. The perfect temperature, the perfect ferocity, and the perfect setting. Everything about it made me close my eyes, and drink it in.

I seriously couldn't believe how amazing it felt. I felt like God himself was raking his fingers through my hair, like he was holding me. And I don't think I could even describe how it made me feel. I completely forgot about everything I was going through--my struggles, my worries about the future, everything. And only one thing came to my mind--the one person I had been hoping would come, and wash over me, and just put me at peace--God. My Savior. My Refuge. My Hope. My Redeemer. My Father.

And all the things that I was thinking about and stressing over, completely dissolved. I was able to just STOP, be STILL, and think about the fact that my life was in His hands. I felt so helpless, but yet, at the same time, so loved. So cared for. So at home.

I finally came to the last turn around my block, and I turned around for a moment.
The sky was open, and the clouds lined in procession, were making way for the sun.

I gazed at it for a few minutes and just smiled. All this for us. All these wonderful people who come into our lives. All this beautiful creation to explore and maintain. All the experiences we go through in order to become closer to our Maker.

I often wonder why I don't stand dumbfounded and amazed at all of it everyday. Why I can't see how amazing God is DAILY. Every MINUTE, every SECOND of every day.

No breath without his giving it to me.
And that is humbling.
I was struck.