The road I walk now, is a little more...intimidating. I see that the world as I wanted it to be, is NOT. The ease I wanted in life, is NOT. (Or maybe that ease was laziness. I'm not sure...) But here I am, coming to realize, the ambition that fills me is a boldness I've never taken hold of before. So it clenches me with fear. I want to be ready. To take on things that can change the world. To be a leader. To be optimistic and determined to improve the world. And help people. And make a difference.
But like everyone who feels like they are just a drop in an ocean FULL of water, I find myself cowering in fear because I am too afraid of being smothered by the roaring waves, and overwhelmed by the greatness of each face in this sea. And I keep trying to convince myself that I'm not wise enough. That I don't dare try to be more.
And why am I this scared? Why can't I find the boldness to move out and touch the world--and share what I know.
I'm scared because I don't know who I'm becoming yet. I'm nervous to take a step out, because, I'll admit, I'm a person who doesn't want to fail. I'm so afraid to fail. Yet, I still don't want to find myself in ten years, not knowing where to move next, and too afraid to take a step out.
I'm a person who has the ambition, has the determination, has the vision, has the fire. But who needs the courage and boldness to step out, and trust that my God has a plan for me. And to have a little more faith when it comes to my future.
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