Say Hello To Helpless

I'm sure it seems that I endlessly ramble on the days that life gets me down. But it's those days that usually prompt me to blog....


I was on my way home tonight, alone in my huge, humming Buick, and I was feeling, I don't know, useless. Like I wasn't doing anything remotely wonderful with my life, and the world was just passing me by. And somewhere from the silence, my nervous little voice cried, "Dear God."

And I couldn't go on. Somehow, for some reason, I was speechless. I didn't know what to say. What do you say when you're talking to God? He's not clueless; he knows exactly the thoughts rushing through your head. And I struggled for almost a minute of silence, until finally I broke down.

"God, I don't know what to say. I'm out of words."

And I was. I truly felt like I'd been poured out dry. Like I'd been drinking from empty wells, and continued to find absolutely nothing. And I'd finally fallen to my knees in helplessness.
I guess that's how you let go and lay things at God's feet--when you finally realize, "I just can't do it alone anymore..."

Have you ever felt small? Like standing by the ocean, and not being able to move. Tonight, I felt positively tiny. But I think it's kind of funny, whenever that "small" feeling pops up, it's shadowed by awe. When you're standing in front of something so vast, and so infinite, and so wonderful, and so magnificent, how can you not feel awe?

It's not hard to be overwhelmed. Life can naturally be that way. It's intimidating, yet very humbling to feel small. And it's scary, but it's okay to feel helpless. Because you're in someone else's arms.