Now & Forevermore

I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip—he who watches over you will not slumber. Indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you—the LORD is your shade at your right hand. The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life. The LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."

Anticipation

I'm a weirdo. I haven't sent in a single application yet (I'm working on like five at once...), but I'm already brimming with the anticipation of opening up that first letter of acceptance and running and screaming and dancing around the house like a crazy person. Looking to that feeling is what keeps me going as I drag through application after application. Makes me EXCITED!

I'M

SO

READY

FOR

COLLEGE!

The Sunrise That Pierced The Earth

Hey, for once in an afternoon, I have the time to sit down and write for a minute.
It has been such a beautiful week! The sunrise yesterday pierced the whole earth, or at least my block of it, with a rosy pink and orange light.





It certainly made my morning, and now I definitely appreciate daylight savings time just a wee bit more. Of course, that's easy to do in the fall when you wake up at 5 and realize you don't have to hit the snooze button and can go back to sleep for another hour with a smile of relief on your face instead of a grimace of guilt and shame. It's wonderful. Absolutely wonderful.
Living in Chicago makes you appreciate the fall a little more too, since it only lasts for about two weeks and then the six-month winter obnoxiously barges in. Yesterday it was warm and comfortable. Today, we have frigid winds and icy beads of snow. I'm shaking my head if you can't tell.

If you didn't get to enjoy yesterday though, I'll share my photos with you.
Advice: dig out some thick, WARM, ski socks, find a comfy sweatshirt, and grab a book and something hot to drink. Just don't pull out your Christmas music yet. Enjoy your November while it lasts.

In Fear & Trembling

The road I walk now, is a little more...intimidating. I see that the world as I wanted it to be, is NOT. The ease I wanted in life, is NOT. (Or maybe that ease was laziness. I'm not sure...) But here I am, coming to realize, the ambition that fills me is a boldness I've never taken hold of before. So it clenches me with fear. I want to be ready. To take on things that can change the world. To be a leader. To be optimistic and determined to improve the world. And help people. And make a difference.

But like everyone who feels like they are just a drop in an ocean FULL of water, I find myself cowering in fear because I am too afraid of being smothered by the roaring waves, and overwhelmed by the greatness of each face in this sea. And I keep trying to convince myself that I'm not wise enough. That I don't dare try to be more.

And why am I this scared? Why can't I find the boldness to move out and touch the world--and share what I know.
I'm scared because I don't know who I'm becoming yet. I'm nervous to take a step out, because, I'll admit, I'm a person who doesn't want to fail. I'm so afraid to fail. Yet, I still don't want to find myself in ten years, not knowing where to move next, and too afraid to take a step out.

I'm a person who has the ambition, has the determination, has the vision, has the fire. But who needs the courage and boldness to step out, and trust that my God has a plan for me. And to have a little more faith when it comes to my future.